Life. Literacy. Learn. Lead.

Life. Literacy. Learn. Lead.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

#SOLSC15 Day 4

Thank you to the Two Writing Teachers and the Slice of Life writing community for providing this opportunity to share our "slices." Thanks to Stacey, Anna, Beth, Tara, Dana and Betsy for creating a place for us to share our work. Check out the other slices and join in the fun!

Something happened today that I've prayed about for almost 6 years. I never thought I'd see this day. Although it took a good year to grab a hold of my "game plan," I finally settled on praying for the people involved and praying for peace within myself. But it took a long time and  I prayed for several long years. 
Today those prayers were answered.
Six years ago, I remember lying in bed wondering why or how. 
                       I remember having trouble looking at people the same way.
                       I remember having trouble falling asleep. 
                       I remember fearing waking up in the middle of the night. Mind games.
                                        Replaying. 
                                                Rehashing. 
                                                        Rehearsing. 
                                                                  Analyzing. 
                       I remember walking around feeling so bewildered, so naive and so vulnerable. 
                      Embarrassed that I was misled. 
My ideas of friendship had been shattered.
My trust, forever effected. A single person. A big ripple effect.
Questions swarmed:
     How did I let this happen?
     Did it happen?
     Why did I let so many people "in?"
     How could I prevent this from happening again?
     Who can I trust? 
     Where will I find refuge from the torment?
     How will this effect tomorrow, next month, next year?
I talked to my parents and my husband, but did I have a friend to run to? What was a friend? I knew at the end of the day, no matter what anyone said, it hurt. And I was the only one in charge of finding peace with it all.

I still don't know if I'll ever be the same, as this situation forever changed me. But today I was given hope.  An apology.

It is a day I never thought would come. 
It is a path I never envisioned the "high road" leading me to. 
It was a prayer left unanswered yet I knew that was an answer in and of itself. 
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. I  made peace with that. But, today my prayers were answered. An apology.

I'm quite certain that it takes a lot of reflecting, courage, and desire to make an apology happen. Heck, I've made a few myself. But, this one felt big. A big apology. It meant a lot.
I'm sure this person may never know the impact their apology had on me because I'm unable to  articulate just how much it meant. I received an apology. 
It was heartfelt. 
It was sincere. 
It was followed by a hug.
It was prompted by a book.
It was life changing.

If you've ever thought about rectifying a situation with another person. Do it. 
If you've ever felt sorry for something. Say it.
If you've ever felt life was short. Grab it.
I urge you. 

I've never been on the receiving end of a real apology on this scale. I will never be able to articulate how those two words *I'm Sorry* restored my faith in humans, in friendships, and in the power of words. 
But they did.
An apology.


                                                             


18 comments:

  1. I'm awed by the fact that in the first half of the piece you have completely nailed the questions and doubts that have filled my head for the last 5-6 weeks as I have been grappling with a hurt by a friend. You also go on to get to the place where I believe I've shakily arrived and knowing that I'm the only person who can make peace with it for myself and move on in a healthy way.

    I'm praying too.
    I'm awed by God's goodness that you saw an answer to all you've been praying for.
    God is good.

    Thanks for sharing this. It meant a lot to me.

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    1. So sorry to hear you are grappling with such a hurt. I totally get it. Rest assured that I never thought it would come but it did come. Getting to a place of peace is not easy. Give yourself time. Lots of time. It literally took me years. I'm so happy you found this helpful because it feels so raw to share this stuff sometimes. Hang in there!

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  2. The words your share in this slice will resonate with so many people. You do a wonderful job showing the pain and hurt we can feel when faced with a wrong, but also the reassurance that apologies can bring.

    Jennifer

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    1. An apology is incredibly powerful. Thanks for reading.

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  3. Love and hate are opposite emotions. I found it takes awhile to go from being angry to being indifferent after we've been hurt. I hope you find peace.

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  4. Our school was emotionally shaken last year by our principal. We trusted him and that trust was shattered. I am still trying to get over that. So glad you have found that peace from those two little words - I'm sorry.

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    1. Wow Leigh Anne. So unfortunate to hear that. Those two little words really are incredible.

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  5. Your writing shows such deep understanding of the amount of reflection that goes into any apology. Savor this friendship.....

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    1. You nailed it...deep reflection. Takes s lot!!

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  6. P.S. God is going to use your words to help others. <3

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    1. It certainly has taught me the importance of an apology and the enormous courage it takes. Thank you for this comment.

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  7. The power of a heartfelt apology is amazing - I'm so glad this moment came your way. A time to turn the page.

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    1. Thank your, I'm glad too. Incredibly refreshing. Thanks for stopping by!

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  8. The power of a heartfelt apology is amazing - I'm so glad this moment came your way. A time to turn the page.

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  9. Marcie, what a relief for you! Obviously, this was a very powerful apology. I hope you have found forgiveness and you can have closure so you can move forward.

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  10. It sure was and yes I have!! The closure is just a true gift.

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